Her Dude Looks Like A Lady
by Roxius
Summary: Bianchi is bothered that people seem to believe that she is a lesbian, just because her boyfriend happens to have ridiculously long hair. Bianchi X Squalo fic. Please R & R!


Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

* * *

Bianchi could feel the stares of passerby glaring into her back. She tried to ignore them, but it was just so hard. Their incessant murmurings weren't exactly subtle, either. Superbia Squalo, her boyfriend of two years, seemed to be having the same discomfort, as he was slowly beginning to draw out his sword. He bared his teeth, and such a bloodthirsty expression formed on his face that it would send even a wild junkyard dog running off in the opposite direction.

"...Want me to kill them?" he whispered. Despite them having large differences in personality and likes and dislikes, Squalo was probably the first, and only, person Bianchi had ever met who could easily stomach her poisonous food without any side-effects.

Bianchi, with a bit of reluctance, slowly shook her head. "No...I promised Tsuna I would give up my life as an assassin so I wouldn't have to put myself in danger any longer. Since you're my boyfriend now, you should probably follow the same promise. It'd be for the best. I wouldn't have to worry about you possibly coming home in a body bag anymore..."

"VOOOOI?!! Why the hell should I give up what I've always been best at?!! I hate that damn, anime-haired brat; I'll never accept him as the 10th!!! He has no say on how I operate!"

"Anime hair?! You're one to talk!" Bianchi jabbed her index finger accusingly against Squalo's chest, "Anyway, back to the topic at hand...it's because of YOU and your girly hair that everyone in town seems to think I'm a lesbian now!!! It was hard enough convincing Haru and Kyoko that you're a guy, and even then they were still a bit skeptical! I don't like having people talk about me when they don't even fully understand the situation...they're like little ants, swarming around gossip like it was bread crumbs to be feasted on..."

A faint shade of scarlet formed on Squalo's cheeks as he averted his eyes from Bianchi's piercing glare. "Feh...it's because you have such a butch personality that people would think you're gay...it's not my fault in the slightest, you bitch!"

Bianchi rolled her eyes. Her boyfriend was so arrogant sometimes. "Oh come on! Your hair is longer than mine! Why can't you just cut it short and look like a real man for once?!"

"I made a vow to not cut my hair until Xanxus becomes the boss of the Vongola!!"

"In case you were zoning out at the end of Tsuna's fight with Xanxus a good five years back, the rings rejected your boss utterly and completely! They tore his skin open, for crying out loud! It was never intended for him to be able to become the 10th Vongola boss in the first place! There's no point in keeping your hair long now!!!"

Squalo brought his hand to his mouth, and let out an incredibly loud gasp. "You're...you're right..."

"Then let's go get you a hair cut right now!" Bianchi exclaimed.

"HELL NO!!!" Squalo crossed his arms in defiance.

"What?! Why not?!"

"I," Squalo paused for a second, "I like my hair this way!"

"WHAT?!!"

"I'm already used to fighting with long hair...making it short again after so long would just confuse me!!" Squalo explained matter-of-factly.

"...Seriously?"

"Yes! Do these look like the eyes of a liar?!" Bianchi peered into Squalo's eyes; they certainly didn't look like the eyes of a liar at all.

Bianchi sighed heavily; once Squalo had decided on something, it was near impossible to change his mind. "Fine, then...you can wear your hair long, but at least do SOMETHING to make it more obvious that you're actually a male!!"

Squalo pondered to himself for a while, and then...it suddenly came to him. It was all so obvious.

Bianchi gasped. "Hey, hey! I appreciate your bare chest more than anyone, you know, but please...just keep your shirt on when we're in public!!"

"Vooooooi...make up your damn mind, woman!!"

"Hmm...maybe we could make you wear a pin or something?" The pink-haired woman quickly suggested.

"Nah...too small to see...and people who only see my back will still think I'm a woman..." Squalo shook his head.

"A sign?"

"No."

"How about a maid outfit?"

"ARE YOU EVEN TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY AT ALL?!! ...Besides, we only do cosplaying for sexual purposes, remember...?"

After many proposals and offers, the two assassins were at a loss. They couldn't come up with a single satisfying way to express to the world that Squalo is indeed a man and that Bianchi is indeed not a lesbian. Eventually, though, by the time they returned to their apartment, Squalo did come up with one final idea. It was a doozy of one, though.

"How about we just ignore the fuckers?"

"...That's a good idea..."

They left it at that, and it was never spoken of again.


End file.
